How to help the heart

Yesterday my husband turned 34! I always make a big deal out of holidays. For some reason this year I didn't. A small gift, a banana pudding and nothing more. It has been a crazy year, and I just really didnt take much time to think about it. Boy was that sad times. I didnt even think this was his first birthday without nanny. Nanny is his grandmother, who adopted, raised and loved him more than life its self. Last year, when he was 33, June 28th 2008, I had him a party, nanny came with banana pudding in hand. She told him as she left, this will be the last banana pudding I ever make you. Those who knew nanny, know she would say hateful things from time to time, so I thought, this was just one more of her negative thoughts. She died July 16th 2008. Changed our whole lives! She was our childcare, she was our rock. She was always there for us, she loved my husband and she took care of my kids and she was gone. Just like that, babysitting our babies, and died. I put in my two weeks notice, and here I sit, stay at home mom! Yesterday, I wish I had done more. Supper time came and I said, do you want sandwhiches, dairy queen, or chinese pick up? (PRAYING HE WOULD SAY DQ) He did not! Its ok though, he picked chinese pickup.... I was thankful for that too. I went and got it. Asked him to sit down and eat with me, the day had been so rushed that we hadnt even sat. So we sat down to eat, I asked him was his birthday ok, he said "Its my first one without nanny and I miss her" I said You go back to work tomorrow, I am not good at these conversations, so I think if I change the subject he will not be sad. He said "I think I am going to cry" I sat there with not a word of comfort as my husband cried. It broke my heart, made me feel like a failure and a useless piece of old furniture. I love him more than anything, he is TRULY MY SOULMATE sent to me from the Lord after deep prayer and he is crying and I cant think of one single word to say??? I just wish I always knew what to do to make him feel better and lighten his load....